I did not make this up but thought I would pass it along.
1. I think that part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer's history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is a great need for a sarcasm front.
5. How the hell are you suppose to fold a fitted sheet??
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Google Directions really needs to start their directions on number 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all agree to just ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to re-start my collection... again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my 10 page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet that on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with an alcoholic drink than with Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "avoid ghetto" option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still did not hear or understand a word of what they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I will look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still do not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey- but I'd bet everyone can find and push a snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, everytime.
24. The first "cup" was used in hockey in 1874, and the first helmet used in 1974. That means it only took men 100 years to realize that their brain is also important (did not check dates on this one).